I know. I know! Dog. Meat.
Allow me to explain. A couple of months ago, before Nim’s Island was first released to theaters, my friend and I decided we'd see it together, just as soon as we could set a date. Since both of us are sincerely appreciative of Gerard Butler's talent as an actor {not to mention his other attibutes, ahem . . .}, we always make a point to try to get together to enjoy his new releases. Except we didn’t. My fault; my wacky schedule. Now. Leap forward in time to Saturday morning, when my son handed me a piece of paper from school that was advertising a special showing of Nim’s Island {honestly, what are the odds?} at our local family-owned theater, that was intended to be a Relay For Life event.
“Can we go, Mom?” he asks me. And then, giving me his best, most ingratiating, wide-eyed grin, “It has Gerard Butler in it . . .”
The kid knows me far better than he should. "Does it, now?"
Now, I knew GB was in the movie, but I wasn't about to tell him that. I was going for discreet. I mean, it’s not right that your nine-year-old son accuses you of thinking a well-known actor is hot . . . is it?
"Mmhmmm. Aaaaaaaaaannd, it’s only five dollars, and it includes popcorn and candy and everything!”
See? FAR better than he should. Gerard Butler and movie popcorn? Yum, yum, yum. “When is it playing?” I asked him.
“At noon today. We’re going, right?”
Was there ever any question?
It was 10:45 a.m.. There was no time to get my friend out the door on time from her home 45 minutes away, while also rounding my son up to get his teeth brushed and clean clothes on so that we could leave on time, a fair feat in and of itself. Forty-five minutes later, he was still sitting on the sofa with his thumbs twiddling a game controller, his eyes glued to the screen, despite the fact that HE was the one who had come up with the plan. Kids!
Sooooooo . . . as far as the movie goes, think Home Alone mixed with George of the Jungle mixed with Swiss Family Robinson mixed with Romancing the Stone. Kid’s movie, totally.
With perks . . .
Beautiful scenery. Beachy setting. In fact, a veritable tropical island paradise. And Gerard Butler . . . x Two! {I did say, ‘Beautiful scenery’, didn’t I?} Yes, the delectable Gerard Butler delighted us with a dual role performance in Nim’s Island. One, the Cutie-Geek, nerdy but somehow also magnificently studly, marine scientist Jack Rusoe, who spends his time on screen in beachy white cargo shorts and a white, gauzy shirt opened over a casual white tank . . . which only served to highlight, nay, perfectly display the golden tan that gleamed ever-so-tantalizingly over his nicely muscled body . . .
::koff koff:: Sorry about that. Got distracted.
A-n-y-w-a-y! In his second role we have the Uber-Masculine, Uber-Heroic, Uber-Delectable Action Hero Alex Rover, an Indiana Jones type of guy, right down to the pairrrrfectly fitted pants {not that I noticed} and rakishly tilted fedora.
Did I mention that the golden tan he is sporting in this movie really sets off the blue-green of his eyes? Sigh. I mean, it really, really did. Unbearably so. There are times when his eyes almost seem to glow. . .
But this is a kid's movie. I'm not sure if they realize how many of the more, ahem, mature females in the audience were nearly sliding off our chairs every time those eyes twinkled into the camera? What were these people thinking?!
I like to think they were giving the moms of the world a little prezzie for being so good as to cart their kids off to the theater for the afternoon. Think of it as an early Mother’s Day gift. Two Gerard Butlers for the price of one.
Don’t look at me that way. What can I say? I have a syndrome. It might have something to do with this:
Yes, I think it just might.
My thoughts on this adorable little film:
I think I loved goofy, geeky, scientist Gerry in his goofy, geeky and yet somehow incredibly attractive glasses, just as much as I adore hot, sexy Gerry wearing anything. {Or not.} But then they cut to goofy, geeky, scientist Gerry wet on a boat . . . and I completely lost all sense of integrity. ::drool drool::
The movie was . . . imaginative and fun. Meant to be enjoyed, not dissected. I can suspend disbelief in a movie as well as the next person. For instance, Nim’s Island features a very imaginative little girl {the always wonderful Abigail Breslin} who swims with a sea lion and makes a pet of a goofy little lizard that sometimes steals the show from his more human counterparts. Cute. Nim is incredibly resourceful, and shows it by repairing the solar grid that powers her island home so that she can receive email and send radio transmissions. Of course she does. And then there was the pelican Gallileo, who has the ability to reason that stranded Gerry/Daddy Jack is going to need his tool pouch since his boat was nearly capsized, the mast sheared off, in a terrible storm that pushed him hundreds of miles away from his island paradise and daughter Nim. Not a problem. I was there. The guy needed his tools {and can I just say that there is something about a pair of big, broad, very manly hands wielding a screwdriver and a hammer with what certainly looks like expertise that makes my mind . . . wander, hee hee hee}, and so of COURSE the big pelican brought the tools to him. But eventually we came to the part in the movie where Author Alexandra Rover tells us, the viewing audience, that she hadn’t left her apartment for four months, and I found myself raising my brows and thinking, “Well, DUH!!!”
I mean, would YOU ever leave your apartment if you had Gerard Butler, in any role, trapped within those walls along with you? Right-O. Me, either.
Other thoughts:
Despite the fact that GB’s Daddy Jack character spends 90% of the movie lost at sea and appealingly wet, he actually gifts us with quite a lot of screen time. Bless the directors, again and again.
His character is upstaged quite a lot by the precocious and preternaturally talented Abigail Breslin . . . but the great thing is, he doesn’t seem to mind. He just runs with it.
Swashbuckler Alex Rover, alter-ego of the timid, charmingly quirky, and verifiably OCD author Alexandra Rover {Jodie Foster} likes to speak in Zen-like, inspirational platitudes. Things like, “Be the hero of your life story,” and, “Touch the world.” Well. I could think of other, more interesting things . . . but that's just me.
Where was I? Oh, yes.
Favorite Funny Dialogue {one of many}: In response to the “Touch the world,” advice that Alex Rover gives her, Alexandra Rover quavers, “I-I don’t wanna touch the world. It’s not . . . sanitary!”
Realization: Gerry as nerdy scientist speaks with a nondescript, American accent that makes him seem ever so . . . normal. Gerry as action-hero swashbuckler speaks with his native Scottish accent that makes him seem ever so . . . swOOn-worthy. Hmm. I wonder if that was intentional? ;>
Favorite On-Set Animal: Fred the Lizard. Yes, I know that Fred should be called “Favorite On-Set Reptile,” but . . . feh. Whatever. I have never seen a lizard pull so many interesting faces. Of course, I don’t make a habit of looking into the faces of lizards, so that point may in fact be useless. Moot, even.
Interesting Googleism: Do you realize just how many media mentions there are of GB as “the delectable Gerard Butler”? Gobzoodles. And I just added a couple myself. ;>
Not-so-favorite dialogue: “You’ve been writing chapter eight for months. You need to get it out of your head . . . and into your body.” Er . . . oh, great. Remind me, why don’t ya!
Final aside to Gerry as pseudo-geeky scientist: Just a hint. Weather-dot-com, kiddo. Always check it before heading out on a short sea voyage. Didn’t you learn anything from those crazy castaways? I mean, you almost bit it in this film. Again. And to Gerry as Himself, I don’t think I need to tell you that there are thousands upon millions of crazy women out here who grit their teeth every time you take on yet another role where you DIE before the credits run. Have a little mercy.
Post Script: I still don’t know exactly what happened to Nim’s mother, other than she isn’t alive and seems to have, I think, been swallowed by a whale? Which kinda, sorta explains why Nim and her dad are living alone out in the middle of the Asiatic sea on a deserted island, running amok with the animals, reptiles, and sea plankton. Because the mom’s not around to smack some sense into them! Although . . . I have to admit, having GB all to oneself on a desert island wouldn’t be such a bad scenario. Kind of like the apartment, only with hammocks and tropical breezes and no need for a dress code.
Post Post Script: Gerry as Jack? Your American accent slipped a time or two, sweetness. Just a teensy bit. You know, I do a mean American accent myself. I’d be more than happy to give you a few pointers. ;>
Post Post Post Script: Back to the original thrust of this post: Sorry, LorHen!!!!!! HONESTLY!!!! Mea culpa!
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A little side note: A wonderful reader has set up a Yahoogroups called Magic, Mystery, and Romance as a go-to place for fans of modern, magical, mysterious romances and romantic mysteries. My "Bewitching Mysteries" and Annette Blair's wonderful "Triplet Witch Trilogy" are just some of the romance and mystery series that can be discussed here. If you're interested, send an email to: Magic_Mystery_and_Romance-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Once you've joined, you can set the list up for a daily digest or individual emails, or even web-only if you prefer. Annette and I will both be a part of this reader's group, though probably not on a daily basis, especially when we are on deadline. :)
Another place for discussions for the Bewitching Mysteries is on MySpace: http://groups.myspace.com/mad4madelyn
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Love to all,
Mad {madly!}
